Just when I thought I had the God of Thunder all figured out, Thor decided to change the rules. He’s apparently tired of the same old stuff all the time, and asked me to find some written humor for a change. So I did. (Hey, who am I to argue with a giant Norse guard armed with a HUGE hammer?) So, brace yourself for something different, with nary a meme in sight! Enjoy!
A guy tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that’s the last thing I need.
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are giving blood.
Sign on liquor store: “Home schooling? Get your supplies here.”
Sign at the hospital: “Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics or the doctors in the emergency room.”
Zoo Rules: Those who throw stones or other objects at the alligators and crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.
Sign at library: “I before E … Except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. W E I R D.”
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger,
but then it hit me.
And there you have it!
Hope you enjoyed a few lines of malarky courtesy of Thor!
The Write Stuff 
When life gives you melons… LOL! Thanks for the funnies, Marcia!
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Glad you enjoyed them, Vera! I got some laughs, myself.
Thanks for stopping by today & taking a moment to say hi! 😀 ❤
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All good. Thanks.🤣
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Glad you got a few laughs, Darlene, and thanks so much for taking the time to let me know. 😀 ❤
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Some true classics here! Thanks, Marcia and happy Thursday!
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I thought they were fun, too, Olga! 😀 Thanks so much for stopping by and here’s to a Happy Thor’sDay to you, too! 😀 ❤
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)))
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Glad you got some smiles, Beth. Nothing like some corny one-liners to make me grin, too. Thanks for stopping by, and have a great day! 😀 ❤
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These were fantastic, Marcia! Thanks for the laughs!
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
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So glad you enjoyed them, Yvette! Thanks for stopping by to let me know, and Happy ThorsDay! 😀 ❤
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All good, Marcia! I needed these. Thanks!
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I loved each and every one! Thank you for the chuckles, Marcia. 🤗
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Great to hear that, Gwen! So glad you got some smiles, and I appreciate your stopping by to let me know! Have a super ThorsDay! 😀 ❤
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I’m glad you listened to Thor – these were great! I particularly loved the I before E one. 🤣 ❤️ 🤣
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So glad you enjoyed them, Trish. Now and then, Thor really does have a good idea or two! And that I before E one is a favorite of mine, too. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, and I hope the rest of your ThorsDay is great! 😀 ❤
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♥♥
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These were so funny! Thank you, Marcia.
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So glad you enjoyed them, Jennie! I laughed the whole time I was typing them. 😀 Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts, and here’s to a great rest of this ThorsDay! 😀 ❤
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Yes, I did. Typing and laughing at the same time is a good thing! 😀. Best to you, Marcia.
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It’s a good thing, and a pretty neat trick, too, Jennie! You are multi-talented, indeed! 😁Hope you keep on smiling all weekend. (It’ll make folks wonder what you’re up to. 😉)
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That’s so nice, Marcia. Thank you! 🥰
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😂😂😂😂
Debbie Russell, author
https://debbie-russell.com/home
>
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My thoughts, exactly, Debbie! I love one-liners, and am glad Thor insisted on them this week. Thanks for stopping by and taking a moment to show me what your reaction to them, and have a great rest of the day! 😀 ❤
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🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Couldn’t have said it better, myself, Jeanne! I really enjoyed hunting these down for Thor. Once in a while, he proves he’s more than just a pretty face! 😀
Thanks for stopping by today, and hope you keep smiling for hours and hours! 😀 ❤
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I do enjoy illustrated scenes of ridiculousness, but these silly statements didn’t need images!
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Glad you could enjoy them even without images, Nancy. I got a lot of laughs from them, myself. Thanks for stopping by today, and hope you have a great afternoon!
😀 ❤
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Loved these! Thanks for the smiles, Marcia.
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You’re very welcome, Staci. I’m glad you got some chuckles from these, and I hope the rest of your day goes along smoothly and happily, too! Thanks for stopping by and taking a moment to share your thoughts. 😀 ❤
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Good ones, Marcia.
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Glad you enjoyed them, John, and thanks for taking the time to drop by and let me know. Now keep on smiling! 😀
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😁
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Ha! Ha! Great one-liners, Marcia! Thanks for the giggle.
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Glad you enjoyed them, Jan, and thanks so much for stopping by to let me know. Hope you have a great evening ahead! 😀 ❤
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I love a one liner…!
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Me, too, Jackie! So glad you enjoyed these, and thanks for stopping by to let me know! Happy travels, my friend! 😀 ❤
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