Still Alive & Kicking…Feebly!

Just wanted to let you guys know I haven’t abandoned you. Went to the doctor yesterday to see if my bout with what was probably the flu had left me with a sinus infection. It had. But it also HADN’T left!! Turns out, after ten days of misery, the flu virus…yes that very strain that’s in the news…is alive and well in my system, STILL. 😦 But I am now armed with serious medication. And I will take the dang stuff. I have a presentation to give in ten days, and I must be well!

I did learn something I want to share with you guys. If you get to the doctor immediately upon coming down with the flu, there IS something they can do, besides give you antibiotics, which don’t work on viral infections. Tamiflu can help you kick the flu, if you get to the doctor within the first 48 hours. After that, it’s pretty much a treat the symptoms and let it run its miserable course.

One way to know you have come down with the flu, as opposed to a bad cold, say, is by the rapid onset. I did know that, so I thought I had the flu from the start. I got sick in about 30 seconds. Seriously. I was sitting at my computer, working away, and I started to cough like crazy. Five days later, I hadn’t stopped, but had rapidly gone from the initial coughing spell to fever, in less than an hour. A cold usually builds more gradually over several days, starting with some sneezing, or a runny nose, perhaps, then gradually a scratchy throat or cough. Remember, the various symptoms build over a few days, instead of body-slamming you to the ground, instantly. Had I gone to the doctor within 48 hours of this train hitting me, I could be well now, instead of still running a fever and feeling terrible.

So. Lessons learned and shared with you. Take care of yourselves, folks. This is no fun! And remember…the best prevention is to wash your hands…at LEAST 167 times a day!! Go do it now! It might keep you well. 🙂

Now carry on, good folk! I’ll check in when I can.

One of the biggest mistakes in my life? The time I quit writing

image By Ned Hickson
As I mentioned in the title to this post, there was a time I quit writing. Back in 2006. For almost a year.

It had nothing to do with the typical kind of frustrations every writer faces, such as not having a readership or being told it’s time to “get serious” with your life by family, friends or every publisher on the West coast. It wasn’t the result of drug addiction or alcohol abuse, although I did find myself addicted to watching Grey’s Anatomy, which made me WANT to drink.

Things were going well with my writing. My readership was growing and I had an agent working to get me signed with a large publishing house.

The problem came on my 40th birthday, when I was given the ultimate surprise gift: divorce papers and single parenthood. Though I can look back on it now and see it for the gift it was, at the time it was like George Clooney showing up on Grey’s Anatomy again: Unexpected and surreal, yet with the underlying knowledge that it was always a possibility, depending on how his other opportunities panned out.

In the span of 24 hours I had gone from celebrating 40 years of life, to life as a single father with two young children. And let me just say right now, Thank God for them. Nothing funny here, just fact: They saved me and were my daily inspiration. But to make ends meet, I left the editorial department at our newspaper and went into sales for almost a year. I also put my column on hiatus by being honest with readers, letting them know what was going on in my life and, for the time being, that I was having a hard time finding my “funny.” I also needed to focus on this transition in my life and the lives of my children. Most newspapers and their readers were understanding. Even supportive. But not all of them were, and I lost about 20 spots — which I understood; I’ve never fostered any hard feelings about that, EVER! I SWEAR!

Sorry…

My book deal also fell through. Probably because of the new intro I wrote, which began: I’m actually pretty funny, but let me tell you what I don’t like about my ex-wife…

Ok, not really. But the book deal was put on the back burner, where it eventually evaporated, much like my desire to write during that period. On the surface, it seemed like the perfect inspiration for a columnist — at least until I sat down to write about it. I didn’t want to become “the guy who writes about being divorced,” but my life completely evolved around that subject at that point in my life. At the same time, writing about superheated pickles and glow-in-the-dark mice seemed… trivial.

Silly, I know — but I wasn’t myself then.

Because of the importance of that last statement, I’m going to repeat it: I wasn’t myself then.

Even as I moved forward with my life, meeting and marrying the amazing woman I’ve been fortunate enough to call my wife for five years now, something was still missing (and no, it has nothing to do with male pattern baldness):

It was me.

Not until the following summer did I find that piece of myself, when I returned to the newsroom and began writing my weekly column for the first time in nearly a year. A few weeks later, on my 41st birthday, I started this blog as part of a gradual return to what I love:

Writing about my editor behind her back.

Ha Ha! Just kidding! I do that on Twitter.

What I discovered between those two summers was how giving up my writing meant giving up that part of myself that makes me whole. For writers, the written word is how we process the world around us and, perhaps more importantly, how we define ourselves within it. While most people are content experiencing life with their five senses, writers have a sixth sense that has nothing to do with ghosts or M. Night Shamalon Shamellon Shahma The Sixth Sense guy. It’s about taking those other five senses and interpreting them for ourselves and, if we’re fortunate enough, sharing that with others in a meaningful way — either through serious reflection, humor, fiction or poetry.

In the same way that sharing this life with my wife makes it real and complete, writing makes me real and complete. It’s not that I couldn’t survive without either one, I just don’t ever want to.

Nor will I again.

Unless my editor finds me on Twitter…

image (Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)

How and why to cross-promote with other authors

SFF sale

I’m taking part in a sale today organized by another author. Shiftless and 46 other science fiction and fantasy novels are marked down to 99 cents for New Year’s, and each author is spreading the word to his or her readers. Who knows if Shiftless will get lost in the shuffle or whether the extra outreach will boost sales, but the idea is a good one — team up with authors who write in your genre and reach new readers.

“But aren’t those other authors your competition?” my father asked me when I started to explain indie cross-promotion. “Not really,” I replied. After all, none of us can write fast enough to sate the average reader, so why not recommend books by authors your fans might also enjoy…especially if those authors are also spreading the word about your titles? Best-case scenario, the result can be that everyone involved ends up with new fans, which means more sales for everybody.

The holy grail of indie author cross-promotion is using bundles of novels marked down to 99 cents to break the USA Today bestseller list, while also reeling in thousands of new fans for other books in the series. Organizing this kind of bundle is probably beyond the abilities of most of us (taxes alone can be a huge headache), but if you hang out on kboards long enough, chances are you’ll find several bundles your book might fit into. I’ve applied to take part in a paranormal box set (although it’s pretty competitive and I might get rejected) and will also be included in an indie-author cookbook, all thanks to networking through kboards.

What’s your favorite method of cross-promoting with other authors? Do you have a success story to share or big plans for 2015? I’d love to hear your own experiences in the comments section.

The Write Stuff

May your year bring you all sorts of inspiration, success, and most of all, happiness.

You never know what will last... Image from WikiMedia by Lin Kristensen.

You never know what will last…
Image from WikiMedia by Lin Kristensen.

The Write Stuff

If they ask whether you have

the right stuff–

the answer is

yes.

If you’re full of panic,

doubt and worry and frustration,

if you hesitate and erase,

stare at a blank page for hours

until a dull throbbing echoes

through a mind empty of words,

and you couldn’t feel more lost–

the answer is still

yes.

Because you have a fine mind

that can overcome obstacles,

an imagination that paints a picture

unlike any other,

and no matter how long

the paths winds,

or how steep the hills,

your craft will only improve

from the journey.

One step isn’t enough,

or one thousand,

but each step makes you stronger.

So can you write

whatever is right?

Yes!

Hacking & Coughing, Here…

Out%20Sick

Sorry to have disappeared, but I’ve got some kind of flu thing happening, and I’ve been out of commission, pretty much, for the last two days. I promise to get back soon, and to comment on all your posts. In the meantime, keep on keeping on! You guys rock!!

Exciting tips on how to fail at your New Year’s writing resolutions

image By Ned Hickson
No doubt, many of you have begun formulating your New Year’s resolutions:

“I’m going to lose weight!”
“I’m going to drink less!”
“I’m going to change careers!”
“I’m going to stop referring to himself in the third person!”

Ok, maybe that last one was just me. Regardless, I think we can all agree resolutions are a great way to jump-start goals for personal improvement and life changes. At least until the end of February, at which point we often “re-evaluate” our goals and make “more realistic” adjustments to those goals by “dropping them completely.” For this reason, as writers, we need to be careful about the resolutions we make regarding literary goals, and in some cases we shouldn’t make them at all.

Many of you are probably saying, “Sure Ned, that’s easy for you to say!”

Oops, sorry — That was me speaking in third-person again. Still, I think it raises a good point: I’m fortunate enough to write full-time for a newspaper, so who am I to tell you not to set lofty goals for yourself when I’m living the dream my editor coincidentally calls her nightmare?

All I can say is that I’m the guy without a college education who spent 10 years cooking in kitchens before being mistakenly hired enthusiastically added to the editorial staff here at Siuslaw News 16 years ago. I can tell you from experience that reaching this level of success, which includes not two but three readers from Florida who are willing to admit they follow this blog, only came after making several important realizations — and failures — regarding New Year’s resolutions and goal setting for my writing.

Here are my Top Three writing resolution mistakes:

1) Waiting for Jan. 1
What I came to realize after several attempts to “start and complete that novel” was that the mere fact I was waiting for a start date doomed me to failure. I can honestly say the best things that have happened to me in my life — including meeting my wife on Match.com, getting this job, actually starting and finishing a mystery novel years ago — didn’t come by way of setting goals; they came from acting on them instinctively and following through, regardless of the date. The decision to start pursuing your goals as a writer — whether it’s to start a blog or publish a blockbuster — shouldn’t hinge on the New Year.

The only exception might be writing for a calendar company.

So am I saying NOT to start pursuing your writing goals next Wednesday? Not at all. But you should probably ask yourself, “Ned, why are you waiting?”

Sorry, I’m still working on that “third person” thing…

2) Setting resolution goals that include things beyond your control:
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to write a blockbuster, land a book deal or increase blog followers by 1,000 or more. But don’t make them goals. Ultimately, just like the women The Bachelor will decide not to send home this season no matter how much you yell at the TV, you have no control over those kinds of things. As a writer, all you can do is focus on what you’re putting on the page and have faith in what happens next. The same goes for watching The Bachelor, which is why most of them eventually end up on The Bachelor Pad. In short, set goals that are within your realm of control — the most important of which is the quality of what you write. Like a successful restaurant, people don’t come because of the plate ware — they come for the food. Unless you work at Hooters. Which brings us back to The Bachelor…

3) Lumping too many resolutions together
“I’m going to lose 30 pounds, write a novel and give up bacon!” Let’s face it, if those are your resolutions you’re doomed once again. Why? While it’s true that resolutions are supposed to be difficult and life changing, even if you could drop 30 pounds and write that novel all in the same year, what’s the point if you can’t eat bacon? Whatever your resolution is, in order for it to be successful it needs your full attention. Remember that a root word of resolution is “resolute,” which means “determined and of singular focus,” and “lute” which is “a guitar-like instrument with a pear-shaped body.

What does this mean? Clearly, writers who set resolutions for themselves should be “singularly focused” and should not simultaneously diet, even if they have a pear-shaped body.

In short, keep your resolution exactly that: singular. That way you can give it your complete focus and not be distracted by the success or failure of other goals you promised yourself.

My intention isn’t to dissuade anyone from pursuing resolutions into the New Year, or setting lofty goals for themselves. Though I had my share a failures with resolutions over the years when it came to my writing, I don’t regret them.

Except for that time I tried to learn how to play the lute…

image (Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)

Goodbye, 2014…Hello, 2015!

2015 New Year celebration

And hello to a brand new chance for exciting things…sharing ideas, being creative, making new friends, and most of all, writing new stories! I can’t wait for this year to unfold around us, carrying us along on a magic carpet ride of adventure! Or not. Don’t forget, you have to weave your OWN magic carpet, and be open to having new things happening every day. I mean, it’s not like Bob’s Storm Door & Magic Carpet Ride Company will show up in your driveway, honking the horn, and yelling “All Aboard For Adventure!”

So, no matter what happened in 2014 to keep you from reaching your goals, a new year is the perfect time to take stock…and take CONTROL. After all, you’re driving this bus. (Did I just switch vehicles in mid-analogy?) Remember, you can make it happen, but only through hard work and dedication. Become a better, stronger writer. Learn a new marketing strategy. Manage your time better. Just don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. You can!

Believe in yourself. That’s my wish for you in 2015.

Happy New Year!

Me, myself and why: Learn to avoid yourself when writing in first-person

image By Ned Hickson
First, I’d like to point out that this week’s topic actually came from blogger Michelle at MamaMickTerry, who asked:

What are the compositional and elemental changes in astral rock once it passes through a solar flare?

Since she is the first person to ever ask me that question, we will be talking about first-person perspective in writing, and why it’s important to avoid overuse of “I” “Me” “My” and “Astral Rock.”

First, let’s do a quick overview of the four main voices authors use when writing:

1) Omniscient — This is the all-seeing God-like voice, which was coincidentally used by my ex-wife. Haha! Just kidding! (she probably heard that). This voice allows the author unlimited access to any character, timeframe, observation and inner monologue…

I am the all-powerful, all-knowing Omniscient Voice! I can be anywhere I want, any time I want, with access to anything I want, including any gas station restroom without lugging a key attached to the rim of a 1974 Gremlin!

2) First-Person — For many reasons, this is the most common voice writers use. It establishes a sense of immediacy and connection by allowing the author to speak from a singular perspective, therefore keeping the reader privy to only the main character’s knowledge and thoughts. It’s an especially effective choice for writers with a strong, stylish voice. If William Hung is reading this, I would highly discourage you from taking this approach…

I am First-Person perspective! Everything is in relation to me, my thoughts, and what I say. I hope you like me. If not, I will try telling you even more about me so I can bond with you, but not in an E.L. James kind of way… which reminds me, have I told you what my new safe word is? That’s right! “Me!”

More on this in a bit.

3) Third-Person — Think of it as the demi-God of Omniscient Voice; it has some God-like powers by allowing the author to shift points of view — but to a limited capacity. All observations, thoughts and dialogue must be linked to character perspectives. There is no external narrative and limited opportunity for foreshadowing. The advantage is that it allows more exploration of characters and situations than First-Person, but without the additional burden of establishing an Omniscient narrative. William Hung, if you’re still reading, think of it as you singing, but with a choice of back-up singers to drown out your voice…

I am Third-Person perspective! I can do things that mortal First-Person can’t do, but I will never live up to the expectations of my Omniscient-Voice father! Stop talking to yourself, Third Person! Sorry Dad! *whimpers*

And finally,

4) Last-Person perspective — The least popular and most difficult technique a writer can attempt, mostly because Last-Person voice always goes something like this…

I just got here, so what did I miss? WHAT?! Why am I ALWAYS the last person to know!

Now that we’ve established a basic overview of the four main voices authors utilize, let’s focus on today’s topic: Writing in the First-Person perspective. The same things that make writing from the First-Person so effective in establishing a relationship with your reader can just as quickly end that relationship — for the same reason many relationships end: Too much focus on “Me,” “My” and “I.”

Although improper handling of the toilet seat is a close second.

According to the word count indicator, we are 684 words into this post. Including the references I’m about to make, the “I” or “Me” words have been used nine times. And because I know some of you are now going back to count, I’ll wait here…

…Okay, fine. Ten times.

The point is, one of the easiest ways for a columnist to avoid too many “I” references is to replace them with “We” when possible. Not only do you cut down on the “I” words, but you also make the reader feel they are part of what’s happening. Assuming they want to, which isn’t always the case with my readers.

But you get the idea.

While this technique doesn’t necessarily apply to novel writing, the basic principles of avoiding too many references to yourself are the same. Let’s take that last paragraph and change it to how it could have been written by using more “I” words…

MY point is, one of the easiest ways for ME to avoid too many “I” references is by replacing them with “We” whenever I can. Not only do I cut down on the “I” words, but it also helps ME make the MY readers feel they are part of what I’M writing…

Have you seen paragraphs like that before? I mean, other than in the last 15 seconds? It makes you want to stop reading because the writer is talking at you instead of with you. This brings us back to the relationship analogy, and why it’s important to look at your writing — whether it be a column, blog post or novel — as a conversation with someone you are in a relationship with. Because you are. If you’re doing all the talking, the other person will stop engaging in the conversation and, eventually, they will find someone else. Probably at a book store. A lot of authors make the mistake of viewing their writing as a one sided conversation. This is particularly easy to do when writing in the First-Person voice.

So how do you avoid too many “I” references while still establishing your voice? Again, it’s relationship time. Once you’ve written your first draft, go back over it with your reader in mind and eliminate those “I” references — either with a simple “We” fix or, if necessary, by re-working the passages to be more inclusive.

That said, avoid going to the polar opposite with your revisions because again, just like in a relationship, you don’t want to lose yourself entirely.

For more on this, watch any season of The Bachelor.

________________________________________________________

image

Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.

Christmas at the House of 1,000 Santas

Since it’s slow this week, due to Christmas being right upon us, I thought I’d share a picture or two, just for fun. The Meara household is famed far and wide–okay, here on our block–for having the biggest collection of Santa’s in the world neighborhood. When this life-sized guy comes out from his regular hiding spot (under our bed), and takes his place beside the Comfy Chair, I know it’s time for the festivities to begin.

x11

Big Santa was given to me several years ago by my daughter, who batted her baby blues at the manager of our local Publix, and persuaded him that having spent all her money on an airplane ticket home for Christmas, she had none left to buy her poor mother a gift. Voila! Instant addition to my collection. (Erin said it was so easy, she thought maybe she’d do all her Christmas shopping that way from then on, but I convinced her that some store managers might expect more than a hearty thank you & a wish for a Merry Christmas.)

Off to visit my son & his family for the afternoon. Will share some more photos tonight, perhaps. (BTW, Santa is obviously letting me know that a string of lights has gone out on the tree. Good thing I have him around.) 🙂

Check Out the 12 Days of Christmas Posts!

Christmas-wallpaper-christmas-9330889-1600-1200

If you haven’t checked out the vids Jenny Melzer has been sharing with us, you really should. So many free gifts, each available for free download, for three days! Did I mention FREE? No risk reading, folks! And you might discover a new author you really love.

Even if you decide not to download the FREE…yes, FREE…gifts offered, please remember to share these great Christmas presents! I’ve downloaded them ALL so far, and I’m looking forward to some free time in my schedule to read, read, read. Jenny…thank you SO much for all you share with us, and for passing this event along, as well. I’ll be watching each day, for sure! Merry Christmas to Starla for putting this together, and to you for alerting us, and to all the authors who took part! You ALL rock!