One of the biggest mistakes in my life? The time I quit writing

image By Ned Hickson
As I mentioned in the title to this post, there was a time I quit writing. Back in 2006. For almost a year.

It had nothing to do with the typical kind of frustrations every writer faces, such as not having a readership or being told it’s time to “get serious” with your life by family, friends or every publisher on the West coast. It wasn’t the result of drug addiction or alcohol abuse, although I did find myself addicted to watching Grey’s Anatomy, which made me WANT to drink.

Things were going well with my writing. My readership was growing and I had an agent working to get me signed with a large publishing house.

The problem came on my 40th birthday, when I was given the ultimate surprise gift: divorce papers and single parenthood. Though I can look back on it now and see it for the gift it was, at the time it was like George Clooney showing up on Grey’s Anatomy again: Unexpected and surreal, yet with the underlying knowledge that it was always a possibility, depending on how his other opportunities panned out.

In the span of 24 hours I had gone from celebrating 40 years of life, to life as a single father with two young children. And let me just say right now, Thank God for them. Nothing funny here, just fact: They saved me and were my daily inspiration. But to make ends meet, I left the editorial department at our newspaper and went into sales for almost a year. I also put my column on hiatus by being honest with readers, letting them know what was going on in my life and, for the time being, that I was having a hard time finding my “funny.” I also needed to focus on this transition in my life and the lives of my children. Most newspapers and their readers were understanding. Even supportive. But not all of them were, and I lost about 20 spots — which I understood; I’ve never fostered any hard feelings about that, EVER! I SWEAR!

Sorry…

My book deal also fell through. Probably because of the new intro I wrote, which began: I’m actually pretty funny, but let me tell you what I don’t like about my ex-wife…

Ok, not really. But the book deal was put on the back burner, where it eventually evaporated, much like my desire to write during that period. On the surface, it seemed like the perfect inspiration for a columnist — at least until I sat down to write about it. I didn’t want to become “the guy who writes about being divorced,” but my life completely evolved around that subject at that point in my life. At the same time, writing about superheated pickles and glow-in-the-dark mice seemed… trivial.

Silly, I know — but I wasn’t myself then.

Because of the importance of that last statement, I’m going to repeat it: I wasn’t myself then.

Even as I moved forward with my life, meeting and marrying the amazing woman I’ve been fortunate enough to call my wife for five years now, something was still missing (and no, it has nothing to do with male pattern baldness):

It was me.

Not until the following summer did I find that piece of myself, when I returned to the newsroom and began writing my weekly column for the first time in nearly a year. A few weeks later, on my 41st birthday, I started this blog as part of a gradual return to what I love:

Writing about my editor behind her back.

Ha Ha! Just kidding! I do that on Twitter.

What I discovered between those two summers was how giving up my writing meant giving up that part of myself that makes me whole. For writers, the written word is how we process the world around us and, perhaps more importantly, how we define ourselves within it. While most people are content experiencing life with their five senses, writers have a sixth sense that has nothing to do with ghosts or M. Night Shamalon Shamellon Shahma The Sixth Sense guy. It’s about taking those other five senses and interpreting them for ourselves and, if we’re fortunate enough, sharing that with others in a meaningful way — either through serious reflection, humor, fiction or poetry.

In the same way that sharing this life with my wife makes it real and complete, writing makes me real and complete. It’s not that I couldn’t survive without either one, I just don’t ever want to.

Nor will I again.

Unless my editor finds me on Twitter…

image (Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)

7 thoughts on “One of the biggest mistakes in my life? The time I quit writing

  1. I loved this post!
    It managed to have so many different little aspects of writing in it which is always great. Not only that, I agree with the end completely. I’ve had a few blogs before this current one (which is going a lot better than any before it) and each time I stopped writing everything felt wrong. Even with this blog there was a few months where I didn’t write and I constantly felt like there was something wrong, like a strange undiagnosed illness.
    It doesn’t matter how rubbish life is because, for me, not writing always makes it a million times worse.
    I’m sorry to hear that you’re no longer publishing a book but it’s not too late for the opportunity to arise again!
    I wish you all the best for 2015 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks so much, Amy. And your description of feeling like you have an undiagnosed illness if you’re not writing is perfect! Unless you’r a wordsmith by nature, it’s hard to understand. Sort of like me trying to understand Justin Bieber fans.

      I’m glad to hear your latest blog is going so well. I stopped by and I can see why — it looks and reads great. I’m sure you’ll have no problem finding places to guest post in the blog-o-sphere.

      Thanks for reading, and I’m looking forward to reading your stuff 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ned, this post…humorous content aside…strikes me as a profoundly lovely description of why writers write. It says it all. Even those of us who ignore our soul’s desperate need for, oh say, 70 years or more–until we’re too old to learn new things with any kind of ease–recognize that we aren’t “real” without it. So glad you returned to what makes you…YOU.

    And Hadhopeamy, Ned does have a book out now. Check out Humor at the Speed of Life: http://www.amazon.com/Humor-Speed-Life-Ned-Hickson-ebook/dp/B00KTD58PU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420579347&sr=8-1&keywords=Ned+Hickson

    (Sorry I can’t figure out how to make that a proper link in a Comment. But it does work!) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      • You are too kind, Young Ned! If I felt better, I’d give you a virtual hug, but I’m so sick (still), I’m afraid the flu virus would fly straight through cyberspace and smite you! One of us MUST stay well, and for now, I reckon that’s you. Me, I’m just going to go lie down again and groan all night.Except for when I’m whimpering. Or coughing. Basically, a whole assortment of unattractive sounds will be echoing around the bedroom for yet another night of trying to sleep propped up so I can breathe.

        Like

  3. Loved Ned’s post. Your paragraph that begins “What I discovered…” was a wonderful description of what compels me to write. Still struggling with the many options for publishing, I needed to hear it described in that way. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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