memoir

#GuestDayTuesday – Featuring Author #D. G. Kaye

/ Marcia Meara / 102 Comments

Today, it is my great pleasure to have author D. G. Kaye (known to many of us as Debby Gies) as my special guest. I know you are all going to enjoy Debby’s very interesting post, so I will let her have the floor without further ado. Debby, take it away! 😀

Thanks so much for having me over today Marcia to share my recent release of my new book, Fifteen First Times – Beginnings: A Collection of Indelible Firsts. After two years of no real production, I managed to get this book out just before Christmas 2022.

Thoughts

Do you ever think back on past events which have left an indelible impression on you or your life, or find that the incidents you’ve endured through life have helped shape the person you’ve become? Are your formed perceptions and values developed from experience, and have they consequently become incorporated into your daily life? Our experiences are steppingstones for much of what feed our character. We live, we experience, we learn, we become, and we overcome.

 Nobody sent me the memo on life, and most of the time, I had zero confidence to broach the subject of my conflictions and situations with anyone. All these events I experienced and share in my stories happened with little to no guidance or knowledge, making much of my young life experiences processes of trial and error. I was like the proverbial child who grew up in the wild, except I had parents and a comfortable home.

In these fifteen short stories, I’m fessing up to some firsts in my life, some of which turned out to serve as monumental lessons. These weren’t life-altering moments, but rather, moments of teaching to move my life forward, leaving me with scars and awakening moments, confirming my curiosities, and leading me in new directions of growth.

I finished writing this book just over three years ago. When it was ready for edits, I left it to marinate since it was late 2019 and I was getting ready for my winter escape with my husband in early 2020. By the time we returned in mid-March, Covid lockdowns began and so did my husband’s deterioration of his health. The book was the furthest from my mind, as I had no head for edits and publishing. The year got worse as it progressed, and I lost my husband early spring of 2021. Needless to say, I was in no state of mind for publishing. I pushed myself to get back to it summer 2022, along with many other projects I’d left on hold. And I kept my promise to myself that I’d publish this book before 2022 came to an end. Mission accomplished.

These short stories are a reminiscing back to some of the firsts in my life. They are moments that left an imprint and propelled me forward through life. Nothing that happens to us is insignificant – everything that happens is for a reason or for teaching us something to take forward with us.

Blurb

This book is a collection of stories about some of Kaye’s first-time experiences with life’s most natural events. Told through the intimate conversational writing we’ve come to know from this author, poignant personal steppingstones to learning moments are revealed. She encompasses the heart of each matter with sincerity and sprinkled inflections of humor.

From first kiss to first car to walking in the desert with four-inch heels, Kaye’s short coming-of-age stories take us through her awakenings and important moments of growth, often without warning.  Some good and some not, life lessons are learned through trial and error, winging it, and navigating by the seat of her pants.

Editorial

D.G. Kaye writes with heartfelt regard and unabashed honesty. The life experiences she shares in Fifteen First Times evoke tears as well as laughter. Kaye’s candor and compassion will no doubt appeal to and help many seeking to grow and come into their own. I highly recommend this book and all others by this forthright author. The reader will be left with an ardent desire for more. ~ Author, Tina Frisco

Excerpt

First Blood

May circa 1971, one month before my twelfth birthday, I dashed to my junior high school girls’ bathroom. It was my first year, grade seven. I felt somewhat under the weather, and a cramping sensation made me think I’d wet my pants. With thighs squeezed tight, I scurried to the washroom to investigate what was going on down under. I pulled down my tight Wrangler jeans and plopped myself onto the toilet. And then I saw it. A small crimson pool had saturated my once-white underwear, and my thighs were stained red. Holy shit! I cried out. “What the hell is wrong with me?”

My mind raced as I tried to assess what on earth was happening to me. I went through a checklist of plausible reasons for the mini bloodbath between my legs but couldn’t think of what I might have done to cause it. I knew I hadn’t banged into anything, and I wasn’t in dire pain. All I felt was a slight stretching of my innards. And no, I’d never even heard the word menstruation. What I feared most was, would the hemorrhaging ever stop? One thing I knew for certain—I wasn’t about to tell a soul.

I cleaned up as best I could with what I had to work with, padded my underpants with approximately four inches thick of scruffy brown paper towels from the school bathroom dispensing machine and stole a bunch more to stash in my purse because I didn’t know if that was the end of the affair or if there was more to come. If I’d had any education about what the horrifying event meant, I might have inserted a nickel into the sanitary pad dispenser—if I’d even known what they were for.

A Few Reviews

My review for the book December 21st 2022 by Sally Cronin

The author has a natural conversational style of writing that draws you in as if she is talking to you personally. Her memories prompt the reader’s own experiences at similar ages, and raises a smile or two at the similarities between girls of a certain age, however many thousands of miles they live apart.

This is particularly true in this collection of stories as Kaye shares episodes from her childhood such as playing in her mother’s stiletto shoes which would fuel a lifetime’s love of footwear, a first kiss, and taking that first puff of a parent’s discarded cigarette.

With the smiles comes the tears, as we identify the moments of loneliness and isolation as a girl becomes a woman without the support needed from a mother, a dysfunctional family life, and the loss of a much loved friend who shared the formative years between teens and late twenties.

At the end of the collection is a wonderful tribute to her late husband, who made her laugh every day and was the first and last love of her life.

D.G. Kaye writes with poignancy but also great humour, which makes these first times all the more delightful and memorable. The experiences are not just relevant to girls growing up, as many are relateable to boys and young men coping with the cultural and social expectations of the day, and finding their way in life and relationships. Take a walk down the memory lane of your own life in very good company. Highly recommended.

My Review: By Judith Barrow

Fifteen First Times is a collection of short but evocative memoirs by D G Kaye. I actually wasn’t sure what to expect when I first started to read. All I knew was that, having read various other books by this author, and having always admired her intimate writing style, I was in for a treat. I wasn’t disappointed.

 Although brought up in a different country with a background that was poles apart from my own, I found myself nodding, reminiscing, and recognising so many of her firsts. Indeed I would go so far as to say, that many women would recognise something of themselves, something of their own experiences, in what these recollections bring to mind, wherever they have lived.

 The poignancy of some of the stories brought tears, others a “laugh out loud” moment. But all are written with integrity and complete openness, something I always anticipate from D G Kaye. It’s like sharing and swopping tales from our youths. We have all had our “firsts” in our lives, and this compilation of memories is a treat that makes the reader sit back and reminisce – very satisfying.

So, I would urge any reader to immerse themselves in this book 
 to enjoy and reflect on their own “firsts”. That’s what this author’s words brought out in me. Highly recommended.

As I say above, I have read other books by D G Kaye, and never been disappointed. The following are a couple from quite a while ago; around the first time I came across this author. As you will see, I’ve been impressed by her writing for many years. Do check them out


Author D.  G. Kaye

D.G. Kaye is a Canadian author living in Toronto. She is a nonfiction writer of memoirs about her life experiences, matters of the heart, and women’s issues. Her positive outlook keeps her on track, allowing her to take on life’s challenges with a dose of humor and a mission to overcome adversity.

D.G. began writing when pen and paper became the tools to express her pent-up emotions during her turbulent childhood. She began journaling about her life at a young age and continued writing about the people and events that left imprints and lessons. She writes books to share her stories and inspiration.

D.G. is a big advocate for kindness and for empowering women. Her favorite saying is “For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When she’s not writing, D.G. loves to read (self-help books and stories of triumph), cook (concocting new recipes, never to come out the same way twice), shop (only if it’s a great sale), play poker (when she gets the chance), and, most of all, travel.

Visit her website at www.dgkayewriter.com and join her mailing list to keep up with her latest blogs and news about her books and events.

You Can Buy D. G.’s Books Here

Amazon Author’s Page: www.amazon.com/author/dgkaye7

You can reach D. G. on Social Media here

Email: d.g.kaye.writer@gmail.com

Blog: https://dgkayewriter.com/
Twitter: www.twitter.com/@pokercubster
Facebook: www.facebook.com/dgkaye
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dgkaye7

 Podcast links: Grief the Real Talk
  Soundcloud
  https://www.youtube.com/debbyDGKayeGies

 

#ShareAReviewDay Tuesday – Twenty Years: After I Do by D. G. Kaye

/ Marcia Meara / 51 Comments

This afternoon, let’s welcome D. G. Kaye (alias Debby Geis) back to The Write Stuff with a new review of her memoir, Twenty Years: After I Do.  I know you’ll enjoy this one, and will be happy to pass it along to all and sundry on your social media lists. Thanks so much for helping Debby get the word out!


Available on all the Amazons HERE

REVIEW:

Lauren Miller
5.0 out of 5 stars A Memoir On Love and Marriage: Love Without Limits
August 20, 2019
Verified Purchase

DG Kaye beautifully chronicles twenty years of her marriage and along the way encapsulates the heart of unconditional love amid life’s challenges. What I loved so much was her honest retelling of those years, both good and challenging. I found myself nodding again and again while I read as she honed into what the fundamental requirements were to maintain a healthy relationship. Respect, laughter, intimacy and patience are the cornerstones of a solid foundation that can withstand the trials of daily living. This is, or should be required reading for anyone in a relationship whether married or in a partnership. The author touched on so many issues that impact all relationships. This novel is a keeper and one I will return to over and over again. I extend a heartfelt thank you to the author for her candor and the gift to all of us for this remarkable book. Continue reading →

#ExcerptWeek – D. G. Kaye @pokecubster

/ Marcia Meara / 43 Comments

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Today, I’m very happy to welcome D. G. Kaye to #ExcerptWeek here on The Write Stuff. Deb has been having all kinds of frustrating issues this last week, with both her ability to comment on this and other blogs, and issues getting her latest book formatted and published. I’m happy to say that things are starting to look up, and proud to present this excerpt for your reading pleasure. As always, please remember to share far and wide. And now, the floor is yours, Deb. Take it away!

P.S. I Forgive You

P.S. I Forgive You is a sequel to Conflicted Hearts, a memoir about my narcissistic mother, and the psychological hold she had on me by instilling guilt and fear when her demands weren’t complied with, and the heartache she bestowed on her loved ones.

This sequel is a stand alone in its own right. It’s a new journey about discovering and overcoming the narcissists inflictions, and ultimately, learning forgiveness, both for myself and my mother. The story is a completion of a life cycle, the cutting of the cord with all its frayed ends.

BLURB

“I hurt for her. She wasn’t much of a mother, but she was still my mother.”

Confronted with resurfacing feelings of guilt, D.G. Kaye is tormented by her decision to remain estranged from her dying emotionally abusive mother after resolving to banish her years ago, an event she has shared in her book Conflicted Hearts. In P.S. I Forgive You, Kaye takes us on a compelling heartfelt journey as she seeks to understand the roots of her mother’s narcissism, let go of past hurts, and find forgiveness for both her mother and herself.

After struggling for decades to break free, Kaye has severed the unhealthy ties that bound her to her dominating mother—but now Kaye battles new confliction, as the guilt she harbors over her decision only increases as the end of her mother’s life draws near. Kaye once again struggles with her conscience and her feelings of being obligated to return to a painful past she thought she left behind.

EXCERPT

The End Is Near

My mother had been dying for years, and through those years she refused to surrender her bitterness and remained in denial of her flaws. The many times I heard she was dying reminded me of the boy who cried wolf. I almost believed she was invincible, and even though I never wanted her to suffer, she did.

I thought it was just a horrible and sad way to die—holding hatred for those she had chased out of her life, living in bitter seclusion, knowing her days were numbered. Her once vibrant life had diminished into a mere existence of watching TV and complaining. She’d also given all her caregivers a difficult time, bitching at them all and letting them know how useless they were to her because of what her life had become. Nobody was exempt.

I asked my brother Robby why God didn’t just take her out of her misery and pain during one of the many times she was on the brink of death. Why would he not spare her from suffering? He replied, “God has his own plans.” I couldn’t help but wonder if he was letting her suffer because she had hurt so many people in her lifetime, but in my next thought I couldn’t believe God would play those cruel games, tit for tat.

I wondered what thoughts had to have been going through my mother’s head. How awful it must have been to know her time left on earth was limited. I thought about how frightened she must have felt in her lonely world, although she’d never admit it. I was sad for her, knowing that the anger and bitterness she displayed was a front for the depressed state of her pathetic life. I couldn’t fathom why she remained so obstinate in her resolve to spend what little time she had left wallowing in misery instead of embracing the end and making amends with her children. I wanted to fix her, but I didn’t know how.

~~~

D.G. Kaye Author
D. G. Kaye

D.G. Kaye was born and resides in Toronto, Canada. She is the author of Conflicted Hearts – A Daughter’s Quest for Solace From Emotional Guilt, Meno-What? – A Memoir, and Words We Carry. D.G. is a nonfiction/memoir writer. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and the lessons that were taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcomes some of the many obstacles that challenged her. From an emotionally neglected childhood, to growing up with a narcissistic mother, leaving her with a severely deflated self-esteem, D.G. began seeking a path to rise above her issues. When she isn’t writing intimate memoirs, Kaye brings her natural sense of humor into her other works.

Find D. G. Kaye Here:

Connect with D.G. on her blog DGKayewriter.com
www.twitter.com/@pokercubster
www.facebook.com/dgkaye
www.linkedin.com/in/dgkaye7
www.google.com/+DebbyDGKayeGies
www.pinterest.com/dgkaye7
www.instagram.com/dgkaye

Find D. G. Kaye’s Books Here:

D.G.’s book, P.S. I Forgive You was just published this week. Check it out on Amazon Here! And Visit her Amazon Author page to view and purchase her other books.

#ExcerptWeek – P. S. I Forgive You by D. G. Kaye

/ Marcia Meara / 37 Comments

DG quote PS I Forgive You (2)

Thank you, Marcia for inviting me over again to share an excerpt of my work in progress. I’m going to admit I am a bit gun-shy because I never usually share my unpolished work, and please keep in mind this is only a second draft.

This segment is from my upcoming book P.S. I Forgive You. This is the sequel to my memoir, my first book, Conflicted Hearts, which was written and published while my narcissistic mother was still alive. This new book is closure to the hurts from emotional abuse and neglect, with understanding, and ultimately the forgiveness I found for my mother.

Excerpt from WIP – P.S. I Forgive You

Karma

It was up to me to break the bad Karma, according to the psychic reader and seer of past lives I was highly recommended to visit, while I was in Sedona, Arizona, early September of 2014.

After she informed me about events that would occur in my life in the coming year, Rayne granted me three questions. Being the skeptic I am, I was careful not to reveal much when having the reading done, in order to gauge how much the reader could tell me without my volunteering information. I merely nodded my head in affirmation when she’d say something accurate. Then I proceeded to ask her my questions.

I asked a minimally phrased question to Rayne, not wanting to divulge anything about my mother. “What about my mother?”

“What about your mother?” Rayne replied. She stared deep into my eyes with an inquisitive raised eyebrow. She looked at me in question, perhaps waiting for more before she told me she didn’t feel the presence of my mother in my life. My eyes held her gaze for a moment, but I didn’t offer another word.

Rayne proceeded to take a large, ancient-looking deck of cards out of a black velvet bag. She informed me these were not regular tarot cards, but her personal cards, handed down to her from past generations from her home in Thailand.

Dominating thoughts of my mother plagued my head with the guilt once again in that moment while Rayne shuffled the cards. I couldn’t seem to stop dwelling on the last time I abandoned my mother seven years before, because I knew, she wouldn’t live out the current year. My torturing thoughts nagged within, battling my indecision about whether or not I had to go see her and say good-bye before she died. Even though I knew it would have been a fruitless exercise, and would have only subjected me to more abuse, I still couldn’t manage to shake the guilt I carried.

Rayne continued placing her cards in a pattern of some random magical order, and raised her eyes to meet mine. In a soothing voice, she confirmed the truth, “Your mother is not in your life.” And then she added, “No, you don’t have to go back, but you must pray for her.” A feeling of relief ran through me as though she had read my mind, confirming and consoling me, by telling me it was okay not to have to go back.

After Rayne made that statement, I became eager to share some thoughts with her. She’d pegged the question plaguing me as every day passed in the few months before mother died. I let Rayne know I had already been praying for my mother every day, for seven years, even though we weren’t speaking. Rayne once again confirmed that was all I needed to do.

In the next sentence, Rayne informed me that my mother and I were mortal enemies in a past life. Vague as that statement was, I could almost understand it. Rayne continued, “Your mother didn’t learn her life lessons in this or her past life, and your conflicts weren’t resolved in your present lives.” She also shared with me that I didn’t choose to be born to my family, I was sent there. Rayne didn’t elaborate on that sentence. The past life regression part she was touching on wasn’t part of the reading package I’d purchased. She told me she was sharing those facts because they were so prominent in the cards.

I wanted to know more, but neither time, nor money permitted as a past life reading involved an hour and a half long session, and several hundred dollars more. I didn’t want to abuse her power, or seem like I was trying to weasel out any extra information, but I was compelled to ask Rayne why I was sent to my family. She told me I was sent there to teach my mother life-lessons.

Rayne reminded me once again to keep praying for my mother. She explained to me that by praying for her soul while she was alive, it would break the bad Karma between us that carried over into this life. Rayne continued, letting me know I’d be set free by praying for my mother, and that she would finally learn her lessons after she left this world.

I took solace in Rayne’s words. My intuition has always led me to believe I have some sense of an inner knowing, and that knowing strangely reminds me of the invisible hold my mother has always had on me. Somehow, this tiny piece of understanding from Rayne made me realize that life is bigger than anything I could ever imagine.

 My body felt a calming from my agitated state of conflict. A weight lifted from my soul. I received the confirmation. It was okay for me not to go back.

Six weeks later, my mother died.
D.G. Kaye ©2016

D.G. Kaye Author

Author D. G. Kaye 

Please drop by my blog and visit at www.dgkayewriter.com  and visit my author page on Amazon  www.amazon.com/author/dgkaye7

My Books:

Conflicted Hearts           www.smarturl.it/bookconflictedhearts
Words We Carry             www.smarturl.it/bookwordswecarry
MenoWhat? A Memoir www.smarturl.it/bookMenowhatAMemoir
Have Bags, Will Travel   www.smarturl.it/bookHaveBags

 

 

 

#Book #Promotion #Kindlecountdown – Words We Carry

/ D.G.Kaye / 4 Comments

BREAKING NEWS book promotion

Starting Thursday September 24th until the 30th, my book Words We Carry will be on kindle countdown in the U.S. and the U.K.

For those lucky enough to be able to take advantage of this promo (countdowns are only available in the U.S. and U.K.), don’t forget to get your copy of Words We Carry if you haven’t already read it.

Please consider leaving a review if you’ve read it. I know it’s been said many times but ~ Reviews are an author’s gold~

Words We Carry ebook cover1800x2700_72dpi

“I have been a great critic of myself for most of my life, and I was darned good at it, deflating my own ego without the help of anyone else.”

What do our shopping habits, high-heeled shoes, and big hair have to do with how we perceive ourselves? Do the slights we endured when we were young affect how we choose our relationships now?

D.G. takes us on a journey, unlocking the hurts of the past by identifying situations that hindered her own self-esteem. Her anecdotes and confessions demonstrate how the hurtful events in our lives linger and set the tone for how we value our own self-worth.

Words We Carry is a raw, personal accounting of how the author overcame the demons of low self-esteem with the determination to learn to love herself.

Get your copy HERE

http://www.dgkayewriter.com

http://www.about.me/dgkaye7