#MondayMeme #MondayBlogs

Not actually a meme, but still a great laugh!

Enjoy!

Bar jokes for English majors

  • A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
  • A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
  • An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
  • Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
  • A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
  • Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
  • A question mark walks into a bar?
  • A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
  • Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a war. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”
  • A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
  • A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
  • Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
  • A synonym strolls into a tavern.
  • At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
  • A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
  • Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
  • A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
  • An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
  • The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
  • A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
  • The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  • A dyslexic walks into a bra.
  • A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines. 
  • An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
  • A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
  • A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
  • A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony. 

49 thoughts on “#MondayMeme #MondayBlogs

  1. Fabulous! I so enjoyed these, Marcia. Educational as well as entertaining – had to look up chiasmus as it didn’t ring any bells. My possible favourite was the malapropisms. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Don’t tell another soul in the whole, wide world, Trish, but I didn’t recognize that word, either. Funny AND educational. What more could you want on a Monday? 😀 So glad you enjoyed it. The malapropisms were great, for sure. I still think I like the last one best, maybe because I really had to think about it for a minute, and then I couldn’t imagine why I’d never done so before. 😀 Thanks for stopping by. Have a geat week, my friend! 🙂 ❤

      Like

    • Does that mean you’d never think of naming a glass eye Ralph?? 😀 Love that one, too. In fact, I think my favorite is whichever one I’m reading at the time I’m choosing it. 😀 Glad you enjoyed them, Priscilla! Thanks so much for stopping by. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • So glad you enjoyed them, Jeanne. I’ve read and re-read them over and over, and I’m still laughing. I think my favorite is the last one, because it truly IS ironic. 😀 And because I never even thought about it before. 😀 Thanks for stopping by today, and I hope your smiles last all week long! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • So glad you enjoyed them, Diana! And btw, both Trish and I agreed chiasmus was a new one for us, too. Pretty interesting, and I can’t believe I never heard the word before. BUT, nothing is better than learning something new every day, right? It keeps us young! (That, and hanging out with people who are younger than we are–a thing that becomes easier with every passing year. 😀 😀 😀 )

      Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • So glad you enjoyed them, V.M. It really is hard to choose a favorite! And I suspect there were a LOT of us looking up chiasmus yesterday. 😀 I saw that it is most closely associated with poetry, which I’ve written all my LOOONG life, but I’d never come across it before. So, funny AND educational! What could be better?

      Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂

      Like

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