Exciting tips on how to fail at your New Year’s writing resolutions

image By Ned Hickson
No doubt, many of you have begun formulating your New Year’s resolutions:

“I’m going to lose weight!”
“I’m going to drink less!”
“I’m going to change careers!”
“I’m going to stop referring to himself in the third person!”

Ok, maybe that last one was just me. Regardless, I think we can all agree resolutions are a great way to jump-start goals for personal improvement and life changes. At least until the end of February, at which point we often “re-evaluate” our goals and make “more realistic” adjustments to those goals by “dropping them completely.” For this reason, as writers, we need to be careful about the resolutions we make regarding literary goals, and in some cases we shouldn’t make them at all.

Many of you are probably saying, “Sure Ned, that’s easy for you to say!”

Oops, sorry — That was me speaking in third-person again. Still, I think it raises a good point: I’m fortunate enough to write full-time for a newspaper, so who am I to tell you not to set lofty goals for yourself when I’m living the dream my editor coincidentally calls her nightmare?

All I can say is that I’m the guy without a college education who spent 10 years cooking in kitchens before being mistakenly hired enthusiastically added to the editorial staff here at Siuslaw News 16 years ago. I can tell you from experience that reaching this level of success, which includes not two but three readers from Florida who are willing to admit they follow this blog, only came after making several important realizations — and failures — regarding New Year’s resolutions and goal setting for my writing.

Here are my Top Three writing resolution mistakes:

1) Waiting for Jan. 1
What I came to realize after several attempts to “start and complete that novel” was that the mere fact I was waiting for a start date doomed me to failure. I can honestly say the best things that have happened to me in my life — including meeting my wife on Match.com, getting this job, actually starting and finishing a mystery novel years ago — didn’t come by way of setting goals; they came from acting on them instinctively and following through, regardless of the date. The decision to start pursuing your goals as a writer — whether it’s to start a blog or publish a blockbuster — shouldn’t hinge on the New Year.

The only exception might be writing for a calendar company.

So am I saying NOT to start pursuing your writing goals next Wednesday? Not at all. But you should probably ask yourself, “Ned, why are you waiting?”

Sorry, I’m still working on that “third person” thing…

2) Setting resolution goals that include things beyond your control:
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to write a blockbuster, land a book deal or increase blog followers by 1,000 or more. But don’t make them goals. Ultimately, just like the women The Bachelor will decide not to send home this season no matter how much you yell at the TV, you have no control over those kinds of things. As a writer, all you can do is focus on what you’re putting on the page and have faith in what happens next. The same goes for watching The Bachelor, which is why most of them eventually end up on The Bachelor Pad. In short, set goals that are within your realm of control — the most important of which is the quality of what you write. Like a successful restaurant, people don’t come because of the plate ware — they come for the food. Unless you work at Hooters. Which brings us back to The Bachelor…

3) Lumping too many resolutions together
“I’m going to lose 30 pounds, write a novel and give up bacon!” Let’s face it, if those are your resolutions you’re doomed once again. Why? While it’s true that resolutions are supposed to be difficult and life changing, even if you could drop 30 pounds and write that novel all in the same year, what’s the point if you can’t eat bacon? Whatever your resolution is, in order for it to be successful it needs your full attention. Remember that a root word of resolution is “resolute,” which means “determined and of singular focus,” and “lute” which is “a guitar-like instrument with a pear-shaped body.

What does this mean? Clearly, writers who set resolutions for themselves should be “singularly focused” and should not simultaneously diet, even if they have a pear-shaped body.

In short, keep your resolution exactly that: singular. That way you can give it your complete focus and not be distracted by the success or failure of other goals you promised yourself.

My intention isn’t to dissuade anyone from pursuing resolutions into the New Year, or setting lofty goals for themselves. Though I had my share a failures with resolutions over the years when it came to my writing, I don’t regret them.

Except for that time I tried to learn how to play the lute…

image (Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)

Hello, 50K…

Today is day number fourteen in the NaNoWriMo calendar for 2014, and this morning I reached my first 50,000 words for the month of November.

I’m excited! Partly because I won NaNoWriMo, but mostly due to the fact that I made it halfway to my overall goal for November before the actual middle of the month. I set myself up to write at least 100,000 words because that’s just a little less than I like my short, quirky novels to be, and it felt like a reasonable goal to get the majority of the project I’m working on, Promises, Promises, as close to first draft fabulous possible before the end of November. 100,000 words would give me time to work on other things, like editing for clients, blogging, and promotion on my other books, while still granting me plenty of wiggle room to write all the words I wanted to write.

Because despite the chaotic, hectic spiral of my schedule sometimes, I have to write every single day.

She Hulk 2

Cover of She-Hulk (vol. 1) #1, textless variant. Art by Adi Granov. (From Wikipedia)

I set really high writing goals for myself every month because I go a little mad if I don’t put words to the page and give the voices in my head a trampoline to bounce around on. I feel edgy and raw, stir crazy and anxious. It starts to feel crowded inside my mind, and when it gets crowded in there, I get really stressed out. Getting stressed out means I don’t sleep, and not sleeping pretty much ensures grouchiness. Grouchiness leads to a really bad attitude that more or less turns me into She-Hulk, and people don’t like me very much when I get angry. They start shoving Snickers bars at me, which just makes me grumpier, and that’s no good.

This month feels really good. I feel like I have a good handle on my project, (though if you read through my daily NaNoWriMo blogs, it looks like I nearly threw the manuscript out the window.) The story feels strong to me, the characters compelling and I’m still super excited about it after more than 50,000 words. Huge bonus!

Do you write every single day? If so, what keeps you motivated? If not, is it because you don’t have time? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.