Not actually a meme, but still a great laugh!
Enjoy!
Bar jokes for English majors
- A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
- A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
- An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
- Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
- A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
- Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
- A question mark walks into a bar?
- A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
- Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a war. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”
- A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
- A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
- Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
- A synonym strolls into a tavern.
- At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
- A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
- Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
- A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
- An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
- The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
- A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
- The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
- A dyslexic walks into a bra.
- A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
- An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
- A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
- A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
- A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
But there is no Oxford comma in the Oxford comma line 😳
Hahaha, these were great. The non sequitor or the mixed metaphor have to be my favourite!
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Probably because it was too busy watching tv getting drunk and smoking cigars to insert itself properly. 😀 Some of these are blinkin’ brilliant, aren’t they? I especially love the last one. Never, EVER thought about the irony in those two words before. (But I’m thinking about it NOW. 😀 ) Thanks for stopping by Jessica, and glad you got a laugh or two out of these. 😀
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Grammar never fails to amuse…except when it infuriates 😜
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Very true. Still, clever word play is my favorite kind of humor. 😀
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Excellent! Happy new week!
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Glad you enjoyed them, Olga. I keep re-reading them, and laughing every time! 😀 Thanks for stopping by, and hope you have an excellent week! 🙂
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Hilarious, Marcia… lovely way to start the week!
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So glad it gave you a laugh or two, Jaye. Hope your week continues to make you smile. 🙂 ❤
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I’m hoping for a few more!
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That’s my wish for you, as well. ❤
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Fabulous! I so enjoyed these, Marcia. Educational as well as entertaining – had to look up chiasmus as it didn’t ring any bells. My possible favourite was the malapropisms. 😀
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Don’t tell another soul in the whole, wide world, Trish, but I didn’t recognize that word, either. Funny AND educational. What more could you want on a Monday? 😀 So glad you enjoyed it. The malapropisms were great, for sure. I still think I like the last one best, maybe because I really had to think about it for a minute, and then I couldn’t imagine why I’d never done so before. 😀 Thanks for stopping by. Have a geat week, my friend! 🙂 ❤
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I did, too!
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LOL, these are great! The misplaced modifier and the hyperbole were my faves.
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Does that mean you’d never think of naming a glass eye Ralph?? 😀 Love that one, too. In fact, I think my favorite is whichever one I’m reading at the time I’m choosing it. 😀 Glad you enjoyed them, Priscilla! Thanks so much for stopping by. 🙂
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🤣🤣🤣
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Hey! I had the very same reaction! 😀
So glad it gave you a few laughs to start the week, Debby! Thanks for stopping by, and here’s hoping the rest of the week continues in a happy manner! Enjoy your downtime! 🙂
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I am, thank you. I’ve even written around 1000 words in the last 3 days. Not much, but every little helps 😀
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Well, you’ve got ME beat, that’s for sure. I’ve written exactly … erm … NONE. Gleep! 😯 But I’m doing some other noodling around with promo ideas, etc, even while I’m supposedly taking the weekend off. I’ve also got an unidentified lady in a “family way” who showed up at the end of That Darkest Place, so I’m pondering her story, too. I guess it’s true that there’s no rest for the wicked. 😀
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Too true 😀
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Loved the misplaced modifier and malapropism. And the Oxford comma one proves its necessitity. 🙂
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Doesn’t it, though! Glad you enjoyed these, Joan. Every time I read through them, I start laughing all over again. Thanks for stopping by, and here’s to a happier week for all of us! 🙂
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LOL! Love these, Marcia. The misplaced modifier, malapropism, and Oxford comma ones are great 😀
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So glad you enjoyed them, Jeanne. I’ve read and re-read them over and over, and I’m still laughing. I think my favorite is the last one, because it truly IS ironic. 😀 And because I never even thought about it before. 😀 Thanks for stopping by today, and I hope your smiles last all week long! 🙂
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Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author.
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Thanks for sharing this one, Jeanne. Hope it makes all your readers laugh! 🙂
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Lots of laughs here, Marcia. Thank you.
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Always happy to share something that will make folks laugh, John. 😀 Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
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😁
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These are fantastic, Marcia!
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So glad you enjoyed it, Teri! It’s my favorite kind of humor! 🙂 And thanks for stopping by, too! 🙂
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Oh my goodness. That was hysterical, Marcia.
“A synonym strolls into a tavern.” That one just hit the funny bone for some reason.
And “chiasmus” was new to me. See, I even learned something. 🙂
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So glad you enjoyed them, Diana! And btw, both Trish and I agreed chiasmus was a new one for us, too. Pretty interesting, and I can’t believe I never heard the word before. BUT, nothing is better than learning something new every day, right? It keeps us young! (That, and hanging out with people who are younger than we are–a thing that becomes easier with every passing year. 😀 😀 😀 )
Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂
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Lol. Yes, lots more youngun’s every year. 🙂
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These were awesome. I loved the comma splice and Oxford comma, but they were all great!
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Yay! I’m so glad you liked them, Mae. I have read them a dozen times, and they still keep making me laugh! Hope you keep grinning all week long. 😀 And thanks for stopping by!
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Too good to restrict to Mondays 👍😃😂
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That’s for sure, Chris! So glad you shared it. Thanks! 🙂
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My pleasure, Marcia 🤗❤️🤗
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It’s so hard to choose a favourite. They are all fantastic. I love. The malapropisms and the hyperbole as well as the misplaced modifier, and now I’ve looked it up, the chiasmus.
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So glad you enjoyed them, V.M. It really is hard to choose a favorite! And I suspect there were a LOT of us looking up chiasmus yesterday. 😀 I saw that it is most closely associated with poetry, which I’ve written all my LOOONG life, but I’d never come across it before. So, funny AND educational! What could be better?
Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂
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Thank you for these great thoughtful jokes, Marcia! Have a beautiful week! Michael
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You are very welcome, Michael. I though they were fantastic, too. 😀 Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
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Thank you very much Marcia! Enjoy your weekend! Michael
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Brilliant!
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So glad you enjoyed them, Kool. 😀 Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
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My pleasure, dear Marcia.
Enjoy your weekend,
Dolly
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Thanks, Dolly! You as well, and thanks for visiting us here. Hope you’ll stop by often. 🙂
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I certainly intend to do so. 😻
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