#ExcerptWeek – D. G. Kaye @pokecubster

/ Marcia Meara

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Today, I’m very happy to welcome D. G. Kaye to #ExcerptWeek here on The Write Stuff. Deb has been having all kinds of frustrating issues this last week, with both her ability to comment on this and other blogs, and issues getting her latest book formatted and published. I’m happy to say that things are starting to look up, and proud to present this excerpt for your reading pleasure. As always, please remember to share far and wide. And now, the floor is yours, Deb. Take it away!

P.S. I Forgive You

P.S. I Forgive You is a sequel to Conflicted Hearts, a memoir about my narcissistic mother, and the psychological hold she had on me by instilling guilt and fear when her demands weren’t complied with, and the heartache she bestowed on her loved ones.

This sequel is a stand alone in its own right. It’s a new journey about discovering and overcoming the narcissists inflictions, and ultimately, learning forgiveness, both for myself and my mother. The story is a completion of a life cycle, the cutting of the cord with all its frayed ends.

BLURB

“I hurt for her. She wasn’t much of a mother, but she was still my mother.”

Confronted with resurfacing feelings of guilt, D.G. Kaye is tormented by her decision to remain estranged from her dying emotionally abusive mother after resolving to banish her years ago, an event she has shared in her book Conflicted Hearts. In P.S. I Forgive You, Kaye takes us on a compelling heartfelt journey as she seeks to understand the roots of her mother’s narcissism, let go of past hurts, and find forgiveness for both her mother and herself.

After struggling for decades to break free, Kaye has severed the unhealthy ties that bound her to her dominating mother—but now Kaye battles new confliction, as the guilt she harbors over her decision only increases as the end of her mother’s life draws near. Kaye once again struggles with her conscience and her feelings of being obligated to return to a painful past she thought she left behind.

EXCERPT

The End Is Near

My mother had been dying for years, and through those years she refused to surrender her bitterness and remained in denial of her flaws. The many times I heard she was dying reminded me of the boy who cried wolf. I almost believed she was invincible, and even though I never wanted her to suffer, she did.

I thought it was just a horrible and sad way to die—holding hatred for those she had chased out of her life, living in bitter seclusion, knowing her days were numbered. Her once vibrant life had diminished into a mere existence of watching TV and complaining. She’d also given all her caregivers a difficult time, bitching at them all and letting them know how useless they were to her because of what her life had become. Nobody was exempt.

I asked my brother Robby why God didn’t just take her out of her misery and pain during one of the many times she was on the brink of death. Why would he not spare her from suffering? He replied, “God has his own plans.” I couldn’t help but wonder if he was letting her suffer because she had hurt so many people in her lifetime, but in my next thought I couldn’t believe God would play those cruel games, tit for tat.

I wondered what thoughts had to have been going through my mother’s head. How awful it must have been to know her time left on earth was limited. I thought about how frightened she must have felt in her lonely world, although she’d never admit it. I was sad for her, knowing that the anger and bitterness she displayed was a front for the depressed state of her pathetic life. I couldn’t fathom why she remained so obstinate in her resolve to spend what little time she had left wallowing in misery instead of embracing the end and making amends with her children. I wanted to fix her, but I didn’t know how.

~~~

D.G. Kaye Author
D. G. Kaye

D.G. Kaye was born and resides in Toronto, Canada. She is the author of Conflicted Hearts – A Daughter’s Quest for Solace From Emotional Guilt, Meno-What? – A Memoir, and Words We Carry. D.G. is a nonfiction/memoir writer. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and the lessons that were taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcomes some of the many obstacles that challenged her. From an emotionally neglected childhood, to growing up with a narcissistic mother, leaving her with a severely deflated self-esteem, D.G. began seeking a path to rise above her issues. When she isn’t writing intimate memoirs, Kaye brings her natural sense of humor into her other works.

Find D. G. Kaye Here:

Connect with D.G. on her blog DGKayewriter.com
www.twitter.com/@pokercubster
www.facebook.com/dgkaye
www.linkedin.com/in/dgkaye7
www.google.com/+DebbyDGKayeGies
www.pinterest.com/dgkaye7
www.instagram.com/dgkaye

Find D. G. Kaye’s Books Here:

D.G.’s book, P.S. I Forgive You was just published this week. Check it out on Amazon Here! And Visit her Amazon Author page to view and purchase her other books.

43 thoughts on “#ExcerptWeek – D. G. Kaye @pokecubster”

  2. Such a poignant snippit – as I’m currently living through the dying parent situation, and it is fraught with misery and guilt despite being free from the problems you had with your mother, I can sympathise with how difficult it must have been for everyone involved. The longer it goes on, the more difficult it becomes, and I think we all reach that stage of wondering why God doesn’t end it sooner. I wonder what his answer would be.

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  3. As much as we know about the people in our lives, as much as we believe we know ourselves, there are always dark passages we and they may been down that remain in the shadows, ever wary of light, protected like the most unremembered dream. Thank you, Deb, for your powerful writing. Good luck.

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    • I does me best for them as deserves it! 🙂 I just hope you are past the worst of it now, even though I know you’ve still got some things unfinished. Good luck with all of it, and MUCH good luck with the success of this new book! I just know it’s going to be a winner! 🙂

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  5. So sad, Deb. I find that a lot of writers had “less than perfect” parents, some crueler than others. You know as well as I that we can’t fix anyone, no matter how much we wish we could. Most likely, your mother suffered from some form of mental illness, which resulted in her habitual unhappiness.

    Hope you found peace through writing about your inner turmoil. I’m sure your book will help other “adult children” of emotionally abusive parents. Thanks for sharing.

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    • Thanks so much Linda. And so true, we can’t fix people, but it took me many years to realize that. And yes, I talk about that in my book about how back in past decades many personality orders weren’t recognized. It was a difficult book to write Linda, but I did find peace after it was all done. I do hope it helps others. ❤

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  7. This post is beautifully displayed, Marcia. The excerpt is riveting, Deb. Congratulations, girlfriend! What an achievement not only to have published the book, but also to have moved beyond the torment and anguish. Seems the formatting and publishing process got in its two cents worth of grief. Perhaps there was a fragment left over that needed to be processed ~ just saying, looking at the glass as half full and all. You know I splashed this all over my pages 🙂 Love and hugs, sweetie ❤

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  14. HUGE congrats, Deb, on the new book!! How exciting ❤ I just bought a copy and plan to review your books soon (totally behind in my reviews!). I'm sending much love for you as I know you write so heartfelt and I really appreciate it xx

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    • Thank you so much Christy for visiting and for your support and encouragement. Those are kind words coming from another author. I know I’m behind on reading, severely, due to the year’s events but I’m getting closer to your books too! ❤

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  15. Debby has given voice to an experience so many, sadly, have lived through. The magic of writing memoir is that it provides a path healing. Owning the feelings is the first step toward resolution.

    Thanks for featuring this prolific author here today, Marcia. I will add this volume to Debby’s other books on my KindleMac. 🙂

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  17. What a story. I enjoyed the excerpt; I think these themes are universal. I’m glad you’ve finally resolved the publishing issues, and released the book. It seems like an important follow-up. ❤ ❤

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