Excerpt –MenoWhat? A Memoir by D.G. Kaye
FROM HIP TO WAIST WE JOIN
Until we actually live through something, it’s difficult to imagine what the experience is like. When I was young but nearing menopause, I became interested in how the physiques of menopausal women began to change. Women come in all shapes and sizes, but I noticed that even the waistlines of smaller women weren’t as proportionately small as their slight frames suggested. I was certain the dreaded middle-age spread would not apply to me, and I referred to it as circumference expansion.
As we approach the early stages of menopause, estrogen begins to cozy up to our midriffs. Then, when we reach menopause, our depleted estrogen is replaced by cortisol-induced fat cells. Cortisol compensates for estrogen loss and loves to store fat cells around the belly. Thanks again, estrogen, for abandoning us and leaving us with an unfair trade-off of fat as your substitute! This is certainly a cruel punishment for those of us who worked so diligently to stay on top of our weight issues.
As a woman who had spent most of her young life on diets and lived fearfully by the scale, I was sure this phase would spare me. I thought it was simple: If we let ourselves get out of control and eat too much, of course we’ll gain weight. I believed that if I was disciplined in my diet and exercise regime, I wouldn’t have a problem with my waistline expanding.
Wrong again.
My waist used to be my smallest feature, compared to my curvy hips. As a petite woman with a short waist-to-hip ratio, I was obsessed with keeping my weight down. Granted, as I approached my thirties and forties, my body weight began to shift. I had to accept that my twenty-six-inch waist had grown to twenty-nine inches all on its own. I did my best to maintain what I had left after I went through The Change. I noticed, without any change in my diet or exercise, that those little muffin tops or love handles, as they are so affectionately named, had somehow attached themselves to my body. Whoever had given them such sweet names was either deranged or male, I decided.
My body seemed to take on a new life. Don’t get me wrong, I can still fit into my pants, but somehow they don’t look quite as good with the outline of a muffin top through my shirt. Oddly enough, my hips and thighs have managed to remain the same size, albeit not as firm. But meno muffin had taken up residence in my midsection. My body had definitely been re-proportioned. Getting dressed became a completely new experience. Gone now were the wool sweaters and turtlenecks of the past, as were my nice fitted tops.
When I was younger, if I gained weight, it went directly to my hips and thighs. The new targets were my waist, arms, and back. No longer was I only plagued by my fear of an expanding waistline—I had discovered fatback. I’m sure many of you are well acquainted with this dragon. This is a fat attack on the upper body, love handles that stick out of the bra line when you wear a fitted top. I have yet to learn of any invention with the ability to camouflage this. Can we even liposuction this? I’ve gotten into the habit of buying my tops one size up to try to combat this occurrence. Hey, whatever works. It doesn’t eliminate the problem, but at least it doesn’t accentuate my overage.
Listen: We can exercise, starve, self-tan, buy bigger clothes, wear Spanx, or put on a happy shade of lipstick. Whatever it takes to make us feel better about ourselves, I say we should go for it. The bottom line is that we all reach a stage where we have to accept ourselves. We can highlight our best features, we can laugh and make light, and we should always just be grateful that we are still on the right side of the green.
D. G. Kaye
Please feel free to visit and follow me at:
My website: www.dgkayewriter.com
My Amazon author page: www.amazon.com/author/dgkaye7
My Goodreads page: www.goodreads.com/dgkaye
Twitter: www.twitter.com/pokercubster
Google: www.google.com/+DebbyDGKayeGies
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/dgkaye7
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/dgkaye7
Instagram: www.instagram.com/dgkaye
Facebook: www.facebook.com/dgkaye
Check out my books and read first chapters:
Conflicted Hearts: www.smarturl.it/bookconflictedhearts
Words We Carry: www.smarturl.it/bookwordswecarry
Good to read this again, although I’d much rather I didn’t identify with it all so completely!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Lol Deb! 🙂 I’m just visiting here trying to see if I missed any comments and although I was sure I responded to yours, it’s not showing so I’m thanking you again. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great excerpt, Debby. I remember the first time I became aware of my ‘fatback’. I was in a fitting room trying on a new bra and saw those squidgy bits oozing under the bra. The assistant said: “Don’t worry about it, lots of women have this…” She didn’t say aloud but I’m sure she was mentally adding “when they reach a certain age.” Yay for loose tops!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Ummm . . . what do you do when you have to acknowledge that you have “fatback, “fatfront,” and yes, “fatsides?” 😯 Gleep.
Well, regardless, Deb says it so well!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Lol Mary. I can so identify! And yes, thank goodness for loose tops. I don’t remember the last century I ever tucked one in, lol. PS I thought I’d responded to all comments here but when I came to visit I didn’t see my replies on some of the comments. Either I’m losing my mind or wordpress is playing shenanigans again. 🙂
LikeLike
Great excerpt. This book reads like a no nonsense girlfriend chat over coffee. Fabulous, Debby. 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you Tess. 🙂 ❤ Goes good with coffee 🙂
LikeLike
Ah well, due to the fact I had ‘funny cells’ at the age of thirty and had a hysterectomy I don’t think I had a menopause until I had breast cancer at the age of fifty and, after surgery, went on Tamoxifen – when I went through the whole gamut of strange symptoms. So… eventually … I identify with this. Thanks, Debby. Don’t care about ‘fatback’ – do care that my ‘muffin top’ is now a ‘cottage loaf’ top. Hey ho!! Jx.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hahahaha. I think the matching cottage loaf top is across the pond, in central Florida! 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lol Judith. I love ‘cottage loaf’. I just passed by here to check comments and I could swear I replied to yours and all others, yet didn’t see my comment, so forgive me if I missed this. 🙂 xo
LikeLike
Awesome to see Debby featured here. Hugs all around.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I agree, Teagan. I’m always very happy when she has time to contribute. She’s a busy woman, for sure, but it’s great to have her here! 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
❤ Marcia!
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog.
LikeLiked by 2 people
On behalf of The Write Stuff, thanks for the reblog, Don. The more of these excerpts we share, the better! Have a great day!
LikeLiked by 2 people
It was my pleasure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks again Don, 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
As we age, our feminine bodies begin to betray us. I don’t have “fatback, but my waist and hips have melded, giving me that “dumpy look.” I was always tall and thin. Now, I’m 1/2 inch shorter, 10 pounds heavier, and…well, not the girl I used to be. 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Deb. Menopausal women, unite!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol Linda. It sounds as though you are another victim of ‘from hip to waist we join’, lol. Indeed we unite! 🙂
LikeLike
Great excerpt! In addition to all the estrogen being replaced by fat cells thing, our metabolisms slow down. I’m still trying to get my appetite to act its age!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol, thanks Kassandra. I hear you girl! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
An excerpt from D.G. Kaye’s book Meno-What? A Memoir… not just a satirical look at that time of life when women generally feel they are morphing into an alien but also a common sense approach to regaining your sanity.. Read the excerpt over on Marcia Meara’s blog and share with your other alien friends.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you my gal Sal! 🙂 xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Sal! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: #ExcerptWeek – MenoWhat? by D. J. Kaye | Sue Vincent – Daily Echo
Reblogged this on cornfedcontessa and commented:
OMG! What a great article. It speaks to me on so many levels. Growing older as a woman is not for sissies. As my weight shifts from one part of my body to another, I just try and laugh it off, or just go shopping at Ulta! LOL!
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a great article! I’ve been in menopause for seven years, and the changes are not fun. I too use to have a smallish waist, rocking the 10 inch waist to hip ratio. I’m tall so the weight gain didn’t seem too bad. Not anymore, It’s tiresome always sucking my gut in all the time, and shape wear is too darn uncomfortable for me. I’ve just upped my exercise game, and am hoping for the best. I still have good legs, so that’s always a plus. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol, sorry to hear you can relate, Thanks a bunch for reblogging. And ironically, I’ve written an interesting post about ‘breaking up with Spanx’, it will be airing tomorrow morning on my blog. Come have a chuckle! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks I will.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sigh. There comes a time to do what is healthy, but to accept yourself as you are. Thanks for a great article!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very true, there comes a time of acceptance. It’s a matter of going through the motions to find our comfort zone. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on firefly465 and commented:
Cries- this is so true ladies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks a bunch Adele. ❤
LikeLike
Loved this excerpt, Debbie! Oh, how we women suffer the fat of our lives! LOL! I am like you short waisted and I struggle too with the extra of me that seems to keep sprouting out like a sprinker on a lawn no matter what I do. I aim to beat it, maybe one day. Will check out your book soon. Blessings & hugs! 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol Janice, I’m so glad you can make light of these annoying overages like I do. Thanks for dropping by and sharing a chuckle. 🙂 xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, it’s better to laugh than cry! LOL! Better to laugh with friends like you! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post from Debby. Thanks very much for sharing it. Hugs!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for leaving your important comment on my blog. 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Debby! I’m going through it now (well, for the last two years) and I’m also somebody who has always struggled to keep weight under control. At some point, from being bigger on top than at the bottom I flipped, but now despite the exercising and all, I’ve discovered some of the foods that helped me before don’t seem to do so now. And of course, recovering from exercising takes a bit longer, but hey, mosquitoes still love me! 🙂
LikeLike
I always thought those extra pounds and that merge at the center of women’s bodies was because they let themselves go. Well, that’s what I thought until I reached that point in my life. It is a constant battle. Diet and exercise just aren’t powerful enough.
LikeLike
I’m way past menopause, Debby. I’ve got other problems to try and work my way out of. Your book sounds good, though. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLike
Hi Marcia,
I am a good friend of Debby’s which you may already know.
I read her book about menopause on my summer vacation. I wrote a wonderful review on Amazon, and I meant every word. The book gave me a much needed peace of mind. It is nice if you to give her book promotion.
Janice
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi, Janice! Nice to meet you. Deb has been a great contributor to this blog for some time, and I’m always happy to share news, promos, and excerpts for the good folks who make up our community. (Besides, I’d be scared Deb would come after me with a pointy stick if I didn’t. 😀 😀 😀 )
Glad you stopped by and hope you’ll visit often! Have a great day!
LikeLiked by 1 person